Something Random

We were doing yoga. There was a particular difficult thing that the teacher asked us to do. So hard that the guy beside me couldn't help laughing out a bit. I guess the laughter means that this gesture is really out of his range. Of course everyone heard this laughter. Then the teacher stopped to say : "Laugh is good. Feel free to laugh." Then I started to think why laugh is encouraged; is the teacher saying that our inner emotions should be flown out naturally; but what I really wanted to do at that moment was crying (for reasons other than the difficult yoga); and if I did let tears burst out, am I putting myself in a very awkward situation; is it that in our consciousness, being sad is a shameful thing, whereas being happy is natural; is it that crying in public is a signal of begging for sympathy, even though I don't really need any. And instantly I was occupied by these rational thoughts, and the peak of sadness eventually evaded me.

I found I was subconsciously watching my thoughts and emotions in yoga.

I'm troubled by the question to what extent, one may give up ones opinion to others; and to what extent this compromise would really hurt one's self-esteem. Yes, I am that one.

I've been eating Korean food for a whole day. Korean food is such an interesting thing: if I haven't had it for a while, I would miss that spicyness crazily; and if I had it for two meals in a row, I would think this spicyness is so plain and dominant that the real veggies and meat loses their nature.

I guess I'm getting a little sentimental recently. Maybe because I'm going to be 25 soon. A quarter of a century. Wow.